6 years…

Each time this day comes around, my heart breaks.

To dad:

When you took your last breath and when your heart stopped beating and went to heaven, a part of mine did too. I still crave your voice and laughter. I look up to the sky and can feel your presence. I also look up and pray you’re at peace and out of pain. My heart hurts and I miss you. I wish I could have you back for my selfish reasons.

I thank God every single day that I had you for 18 years. Nothing gets easier…we get stronger.

April 16th was the day my world fell apart and became a nightmare. May 13 was the day the nightmare became my reality.

A cancer death anniversary isn’t as monumental because the death is so slow and gruesome. For me, it’s the whole time around the death anniversary that is hard and the flashbacks to the hospice days. Hospice kills the caretakers. I have gratitude for the time I had with my dad and try to see the light in all situations, but it still hurts.

6 years later…