Father’s Day

In honor of Father’s Day, my sister wrote a guest blog piece! Devika teaches American history and enjoys writing Yelp food reviews, playing water polo, and exploring new cities.  

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Today will be the second year that my sister and I won’t be celebrating Father’s Day the way we used to – trying to figure out the surprise gifts, who would take him golfing and what dinner plans would be. Unlike birthdays, anniversaries, or holidays, Father’s Day is the day where everyone at the same time celebrates their father. I’ve been walking around shops where I see all the Father’s Day gifts and goodies out and I see my friends posting pictures of them and their dads. My heart aches when I feel that I’m no longer a part of that club.

There are moments where I feel so jealous that I won’t have my father to see when I go home or even in the future at my wedding or when I have children, but then I remember him in his true form – a man of love, truth, grit, and incredible generosity. Like my sister has said so many times, he was someone who gave and gave, left a legacy where he went, and influenced those around him. When I lost him, I had three or four times as many father figures step into my life. I had friends and family reach out and wish me Happy Father’s Day so that together, we could celebrate my dad.

 In just a year, I’ve learned that grief comes and goes as it pleases but joy is always there; it’s a self-existing emotion that often hides itself in the cloud of grief but will come out to shine when summoned. Be the sun that brightens your day; find happiness in the thoughts that count. Thank you to my friends and family that texted and called; you’ve made my Father’s Day the warmest and most joyful that it could possibly be.

 Today, I’ll be calling not only my mother, but also all my pseudo-fathers. Share your joy with others and reach out to those around you. A kind note, text, e-mail, call, even Facebook comment goes a long way. Know that Father’s Day isn’t just to celebrate dads, but really those who’ve positively influenced and guided you.

 Of course, I won’t end this post without saying Happy Father’s Day to my dad – Rajiv Agarwal – whose memories are like stars in the sky, there in beautiful, abstract space, shining bright, and making me smile. 

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Relay for Life 2014

This past weekend, I was able to participate in Relay for Life at the university I am attending. Relay for Life is a 24-hour cancer walk held by American Cancer Society. Their goal is to fight back against cancer, celebrate those who have survived, and remember those who have lost their life to the awful disease while fundraising thousands of dollars.

Later on in the event, there is a ceremony called Luminaria. Luminaria is a time to remember and honor those who have passed away. The Luminaria ceremony was emotionally difficult for me. It was scary and weird to hear my dad’s name and see my dad’s picture during the ceremony. In the past years I have participated in Relay for Life, I never thought I would walk during the Luminaria lap in honor of my father.

I am so grateful my friends were right there next to me. They held me as we walked the Luminaria lap. It was so reassuring to know that I have a support system who empathizes with me, rather than sympathizes for me. Although it was a moment of deep mourning for my dad, I felt beyond thankful for those surrounding me and felt my heart fill with joy.

Relay for Life was such an amazing experience. I have mentioned this before, but just to reiterate, it is helpful to give back to the community. It’s a great way to cope with cancer. At events like this, you can share your story without being judged and have someone listen that knows what you have been through or are going through. I love volunteering through American Cancer Society (and the other organizations I am apart of). And to be completely honest, volunteering and helping people cope with cancer are some of the few things that get me through each day while grieving over my father. It brings a smile to my face knowing that I am changing someone’s life in one way or another.

Blogger and her Momma!

Blogger and her Momma!

Luminaria Bag!

Luminaria Bag!

Team Co-Captains of "We Cancervive"

Team Co-Captains of “We Cancervive”

Team Captains with President of Colleges Against Cancer

Team Captains with President of Colleges Against Cancer

New Year’s Resolutions

Happy New Year! I know that this post is about 8 days overdue and I apologize.

With a sick or lost parent, there is always something to do. And with those things to do comes potential improvements. Here are some ideas that might help you get through this cancer-stricken year!

New Year’s Resolutions for cancer patients:

  • Gain healthy weight- I know that with chemotherapy and the stress of cancer it is natural to lose weight. But remember, you must be strong for your next round of chemotherapy! Try to gain healthy weight. For example, try having Full-Fat Greek Yogurt with lots of fruits as many times a week as possible.
  • Tell your family what’s going on- Your family is there to help you and they genuinely want to. Don’t hide your diagnosis and doctor’s appointments from anyone.
  • Ask your doctor- If you don’t understand what your doctor is saying or if you want more details, just ask. I know many cancer patients don’t know how to ask certain questions about their diagnosis and prognosis, but always remember that oncologists want to help you. Also, don’t feel bad to get a second opinion.

New Year’s Resolutions for those coping with a loved one’s cancer:

  • Do something for yourself- Treat yourself to something nice every now and then because you deserve it. Cancer is beyond hard to deal with. Without giving yourself a break, you will start to resent your situation.
  • Take care of yourself- I know how busy you are taking care of your sick loved one, but don’t forget to take care of yourself! Eat right and exercise well. Stay healthy for your parent(s)!
  • Volunteer- Being able to volunteer with cancer organizations is so fulfilling. I highly recommend it to those coping with this deadly disease.

To both groups:

  • Join a support group- Join a support group and ask for help. You will meet many others who are in a similar situation. You will feel less alone, you will be able to vent in a healthy way, you will meet people who finish your ______. (sentences)
  • Talk about your feelings- Tell your family how you feel and how much you love each other. This life is too short for you not to say, “I love you.” every single day.
  • Save someone- You know what cancer does to a family. You have seen the ups and downs of it. Save someone and make sure they get their screenings and tests when required.
  • Be positive- Don’t fret over things that are not in your control. People are going to say insulting things about cancer. People are going to insult the way you are coping with your cancer story. Walk away because you don’t need anymore negativity in your life. Surround yourself with positivity and do the best you can do while coping with cancer.