Tag Archives: stay positive

My Biggest Fear

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We all have fears in life — spiders, sharks, creepy men, etc. My biggest fear changed after I lost my dad to cancer when I was 18 years old. I wish I could say my biggest fear is something like spiders, but now my biggest fear is forgetting my dad.

My biggest fear is forgetting his voice. And his laugh. And his big smile. And the way he would say my name. And the way he used to play with our dog, Duke. And the way he used to say, “Good night, I love you” every single night, no matter how tired he was or no matter how late it got. And his generous and funny personality. And his weird cravings for the most random flavors of ice cream.

I now try to do everything I can in my power so that my fear doesn’t become a reality. I have an album saved on my computer of pictures of my dad. And, I often times look at these pictures. I think about my favorite memories with him and I always proceed by writing it down in a small journal. I also wrote down his favorite color, ice cream, type of car, and everything else I still remember. It’s now my Daddy Journal. I also have a few videos and recordings of his voice. These videos and recordings are my best friend when I am having a “Daddy Day”. A Daddy Day happens occasionally and it’s perfectly normal. It’s one of those days where I just can’t stop thinking about him and I miss him a little extra.

 

For those who have also lost a parent (or any family member) to cancer (or any disease):

If you also fear that you might forget the little details and big memories of your lost parent, then I highly suggest writing everything down and recording what you can. Although sometimes it might be heartbreaking to write these details down, it is one of the most comforting things to have when you look back at it on one of those Mommy or Daddy Days. Your parent would only want you to remember them in the most positive and delightful way, and not in a cancerous way.

Words

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Talk in everlasting words
And dedicate them all to me
And I will give you all my life
I’m here if you should call to me

You think that I don’t even mean
A single word I say

It’s only words, and words are all I have
To take your heart away

These lyrics are part of “Words” by the Bee Gees. “Words” was one of the first songs my dad taught me to play on the guitar probably about 8 years ago. It is also the last song he ever played, which was just two days before he was admitted to the hospital.

These few lyrics mean the world to me. “Talk in everlasting words and dedicate them all to me” The reason I blog, the reason I get up every morning, the reason I try my hardest in school is for my dad. I dedicate my world to him. “You think that I don’t even mean a single word I say. It’s only words, and words are all I have to take your heart away.” Words is what I use. It’s what I use to help people cope with cancer and it’s all I have.

Words are all I have to show the world that I would do anything to help those coping with cancer and words are all I have to tell the universe how much I really do love and miss my dad.

Happy Birthday, Mommy

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I wanted to give a special birthday shout out to my beautiful and strong mother today! So, happy birthday to the woman who bent over back to take care of my dad during the lowest points of his life, who did everything in the world to keep this family intact and strong, and who has motivated me to follow my dreams and ambitions even without my dad in my life anymore. You are the strongest woman I know and I hope to be at least half the person you are today when I’m a mother. I love you so much!

Thank you for being the best mommy AND daddy!

One Year Ago I Lost My Best Friend

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I never actually thought this day would come. I was in such denial. I walked through the hospital doors and found  my dad’s room. The doctors told me what was going on. I watched everyone cry.  I took my dad home from the hospital to Hospice. I carried his bags to the car. I helped him from the wheelchair to the car. I watched the nurses cry when he left. I saw the pain in my dad’s face. I saw my dad on Hospice. I saw the Hospice workers explain the “Do Not Resuscitate Form” to my mom. I watched my mom sign it. I watched the nurse take my dad’s pulse for the last time, look at me and shake her head. I was there through it all, but I still never thought the day I would lose my best friend would actually come.

I watched it. I watched my dad die everyday. But one day, it actually happened. I think at first I was in complete shock. At 18 years old, I still didn’t understand what was going on in my life. I kept asking myself why was this happening to me. Why did I have to lose my dad- my best friend?

 

 

Relay for Life 2014

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This past weekend, I was able to participate in Relay for Life at the university I am attending. Relay for Life is a 24-hour cancer walk held by American Cancer Society. Their goal is to fight back against cancer, celebrate those who have survived, and remember those who have lost their life to the awful disease while fundraising thousands of dollars.

Later on in the event, there is a ceremony called Luminaria. Luminaria is a time to remember and honor those who have passed away. The Luminaria ceremony was emotionally difficult for me. It was scary and weird to hear my dad’s name and see my dad’s picture during the ceremony. In the past years I have participated in Relay for Life, I never thought I would walk during the Luminaria lap in honor of my father.

I am so grateful my friends were right there next to me. They held me as we walked the Luminaria lap. It was so reassuring to know that I have a support system who empathizes with me, rather than sympathizes for me. Although it was a moment of deep mourning for my dad, I felt beyond thankful for those surrounding me and felt my heart fill with joy.

Relay for Life was such an amazing experience. I have mentioned this before, but just to reiterate, it is helpful to give back to the community. It’s a great way to cope with cancer. At events like this, you can share your story without being judged and have someone listen that knows what you have been through or are going through. I love volunteering through American Cancer Society (and the other organizations I am apart of). And to be completely honest, volunteering and helping people cope with cancer are some of the few things that get me through each day while grieving over my father. It brings a smile to my face knowing that I am changing someone’s life in one way or another.

Blogger and her Momma!

Blogger and her Momma!

Luminaria Bag!

Luminaria Bag!

Team Co-Captains of "We Cancervive"

Team Co-Captains of “We Cancervive”

Team Captains with President of Colleges Against Cancer

Team Captains with President of Colleges Against Cancer

One Year Ago I Found Out My Dad Was Going to Die

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April 16, 2013. My world started falling apart. I walked into the Good Samaritan Hospital and felt my heart drop. I knew this was not just the regular doctor visit. I found my way around the hospital and came up to my dad’s room. When I walked in he yelled, ‘Lulu Lulu!’ (This nickname will be explained in another blog post.) I was so happy to see him and he was so happy to see me.

He was not doing well. He was very sick at this point. I knew something was wrong, but I wouldn’t admit it to myself.

Our family friend who works in that hospital came in my dad’s room. She walked me down the hall to get me some ice cream (I always see kids get unlimited ice cream at hospitals, so I simply asked!). We walked down the hall into the kitchen on the oncology floor. College decisions were due in two weeks, so we started talking about my options. At this point, I honestly didn’t give it much thought because my dad was getting more sick by the day. She asked me what college I wanted to go and what college my parents wanted me to go to. I answered with the college I wanted to go to and explained to her how I should go where my parents want me to. The college my parents wanted me to go to was really close to home and had a great reputation. I told her that I want to be close to home especially because of my dad’s health. She said, “Go where you want to go to college because your dad won’t see you go to college. Samira, your father is dying.”

I cried in her shoulders for a few minutes, wiped my tears, got myself ice cream and got my dad ice cream. I walked down the hall with a fake smile on my face and came into my dad’s hospital room excited to eat ice cream with him. Only later did I realize that this was going to be the last time I ate ice cream with him.

Throughout the day, he never said anything about him dying. I heard my mom crying on the phone outside his room to multiple people but she never really told me anything either because she was too busy dealing with phone calls and doctors, and of course my father’s needs. One of our really good family friend took me to the library down the hall a few hours later. She sat me down and explained to me that this was real. She said that this is it. She said explained to me that the chemotherapy stopped working and there is nothing else the doctors could do. I asked her a few questions and she answered. We just sat there in silence for sometime. I cried for sometime. I walked back to the hospital room to find more of my family friends. Some of our other very good family friends sat in the car while I drove to her house to spend the night with her daughters, whom I consider my sisters.

I could barely drive because I was crying so hard. My head was pounding. I couldn’t think straight. I felt like throwing up. I stopped by at my house to feed my dog and pick up my stuff to spend the night at their house. My mom was living in the hospital with my dad and my sister was in the East Coast at this point.

I came to my family friend’s house and walked  into her room. We looked at each other and neither of us said a single world. I just started howling. I cried and I cried. I tried to throw up. Nothing came out because I didn’t eat anything the whole day. I drank some water and took some Advil. I fell asleep crying in my family friends arms.

 

Happy Birthday, Daddy

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My dad was truly an amazing person. He was the life of every party, the captain of every team, the sunshine on a cloudy day, the tickle monster when in a grumpy mood. He made every guest and every relative feel so at home in his house. He was the most generous and selfless man I had ever met in my life. My dad never forgot anyone’s birthday or anniversary. He was a best friend to many people and always helping others. He never showed his pain while going through chemotherapy. He was always smiling, whether it was during the economic recession or the day he was admitted to the hospital he was making some sort of joke. He made his last joke within the last hour of his life. His last words were thank you.

So, thank you dad. Thank you for teaching me everything important in life. Whenever I would fail a test, you would actually laugh at me and say, “Let’s make a bet on you failing the next one.” Thank you for showing the importance of hope and positivity. Thank you for hiding your pain during the last month of your life to make it easier for your friends and family. Thank you for the being such a caring husband, brother, and son. Thank you for being the greatest dad any little girl could ever ask for.  Thank you for being my hero. Thank you for leaving your legacy, and I promise I will live by it now. And, Happy Birthday.

Happy birthday to the man who inspired this blog!

Happy birthday to the man who inspired this blog!

Colon Cancer & Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month

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March is Colon/Colorectal Cancer awareness month! Colon Cancer is cancer in the colon and Colorectal Cancer is cancer in the colon as well as the rectum.

Here are a few facts about Colon/Colorectal Cancer to raise awareness:

  • Colon/Colorectal cancer is the third most diagnosed cancer in America
  • When it comes to cancer deaths, Colon/Colorectal cancer takes second place in America
  • 90% of Colon/Colorectal cancer patients are 50 years old or older
  • Colon/Colorectal cancer has a lot to do with family history- if your parent, sibling, child, etc. have had colon cancer, your risk increases by two to three times more
  • Prevent Colon/Colorectal Cancer with a healthy diet and regular check ups to the doctor, including a colonoscopy at the age 50 years
  • Some symptoms of Colon/Colorectal Cancer that should not be ignored include: changes in bowel movement, blood in stool, abdominal discomfort/pain/cramps, bloating, fatigue, loss of appetite, weight loss
  • Colon/Colorectal cancer can be diagnosed with a Colonoscopy or through CT scans
  • Colon/Colorectal cancer can be treated through chemotherapy, radiation, and surgery

About three years ago my father was diagnosed with Colorectal Cancer. Now that I see what cancer really does to a patient and to a family, I want to spread the knowledge and share with other the importance of going to the doctors when you feel sick. I would also like to emphasize to get a colonoscopy at age 50 with your yearly check up! This is so very important. Please do share this post, so that others can be educated on different types of cancers. Together, we can fight against cancer.

Coping Strategy #9

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Art Therapy!

Something that always calms me down and gives me time to gather my thoughts is anything artsy or craftsy! I have learned that this really helps when coping with your parent’s cancer.

Recently, I started scrapbooking memories of my dad so I could hold on to them and cherish them forever. DIY (Do It Yourself) projects are also fun because you get to be as creative as you want and you save money! There are a ton of DIY projects that could help cancer patients too! For example, if your parent or loved on is going into surgery or is in the hospital, you can sew them a little pillow and blanket with a pattern that they would appreciate. They would also feel more ‘home-y’ and less ‘hospital-y’. Another great example is knitting beanies or something similar for patients who have lost their hair.

If you have a sick parent, grandparent, etc. I think it would be therapeutic to do an art project with them. This way, both parities can let out emotions while creating memories during a tough time. Studies show that art therapy helps a sick patient by reducing anxiety levels, improving social skills and communication, and controlling the pain in a better way.

Stay positive and keep spreading those smiles! For more DIY ideas for cancer patients, email copingwithcancerforkids@gmail.com!

I Wear Red for Your Heart and for My Heart

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Heart disease is the number one killer in women. And unfortunately, heart attacks, heart failure, and other types of heart diseases are too common in both genders. Because it is so prevalent in many lives, it is so important to be educated on an unhealthy heart and to know what to do when an unfavorable situation comes upon you.

Recently, I was blessed to be able to help raise awareness about this deadly disease. Students wore red and gathered around at a specific time to get educated on a healthy heart, and to educate others!

Some Symptoms of Heart Disease:

Coronary Artery Disease, Heart Attack, Arrhythmias, Atrial Fibrillation, Heart Valve Disease, Heart Failure, Congenital Heart Disease, & Heart Muscle Disease:

  • Shortness of breath
  • Palpitations
  • Fast heartbeat
  • Weakness/dizziness
  • Nausea and sweating
  • Discomfort and pain in the chest, back, jaws, or arm area
  • Fullness or heartburn feeling
  • Rapid or irregular heartbeats
  • Weakness/dizziness/fatigue
  • Pounding/discomfort in chest

The Importance of Knowing CPR:

I personally think knowing CPR is extremely important. I strongly recommend everyone to get certified in this as soon as possible. Unfortunately, no one can predict the future. You might be sitting in a restaurant and the person behind you chokes or you might be sitting in your house when a loved one experiences a heart attack. By getting certified in CPR, you can save a life. You can make a difference. You can be a hero to a family.

Treatment:

There are many medications and surgeries doctors can do to help a bad heart. For example, doctors can put in a stent for weak hearts to help with the flow in arteries. Doctors can also perform bypass surgery when arteries are blocked.

Take Care of Your Heart:

It is extremely important to be going to the doctors for regular check ups. Also, never skip any medication a doctor has prescribed. Live a healthy lifestyle. Walk more and eat right. For more on a healthy lifestyle, check out: https://copingwithcancerforkids.wordpress.com/2014/01/20/how-and-why-to-be-healthy/

Keep a healthy heart, help others keep a healthy heart, and spread those beautiful smiles!

World Cancer Day

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Happy World Cancer Day! This day is not only dedicated to spread general knowledge about cancer, but to factor out myths and misconceptions about this deadly disease.

Here are a few cancer myths:

  • Undergoing treatment means you cannot do your usual activities and live a normal life– Undergoing treatment means things will change in your life. There is a high change there will be new norms to adapt to. However, you can still do the usual activities and try to live a life that is as normal as possible under the circumstances.
  • Every cancer patient gets the same treatment– Treatment comes in different shapes and forms. Common treatments include chemotherapy, radiation, and surgery. Not all cancers get the same chemotherapy drugs. Also, even if the cancer is the same as the next person the drugs still might be different. Radiation and surgery are applicable to only some patients depending on the stage of the cancer.
  • To prevent skin cancer, one just has to apply one layer of sunscreen in the beginning of the day– It is really important to apply multiple layers of sunscreen throughout the day. Applying one layer of sunscreen in the morning won’t be much of a benefit if you are outside throughout the day. Skin cancer symptoms start appearing years later. Skin cancer is cumulative and stays in the deep layers of the skin. It’s extremely important to reapply sunscreen of SPF 15 or more and protect your skin.
  • Household bug spray causes cancer– This statement has been proven false. Using these products occasionally cause no harm and there is no relationship with cancer diagnoses.
  • There is a higher chance of being diagnosed with lung cancer when living in a polluted place, rather than being a smoker– Being a smoker causes a higher chance of being diagnosed with lung cancer than those living in a polluted place. Smoking is the number one cause of lung cancer.
  • Some injuries cause cancer– One might go to the doctor for an injury and during the same time, the doctor finds a tumor of some sort. This does not mean an injury is the reason for the tumor. Also, if there was a bad injury earlier in life and cancer detection later on there is no way that the cause of the cancer was because of that previous injury.
  • Electronic devices cause brain cancer– Although many people believe this, there is no consistent finding that allows scientists and doctors to believe electronic devices cause brain cancer. Ionizing radiation may cause one’s DNA to change, leading to cancer. However, with smaller electronic devices there are no DNA changes.
  • Lifestyle changes won’t affect the chance of being diagnosed with cancer– A lot of things play the part of the reason of a cancer diagnosis. Often times, one could be lifestyle. An excessive amount of anything is bad for you. Too much alcohol can damage your liver. Too much smoking can damage your lungs. I believe everything is okay in moderation. It is important to limit yourself to the things you know that cause cancer. An important thing to have in your lifestyle to avoid cancer is of course exercise. Your lifestyle does play a role in the chances of being diagnosed with cancer. This is why it is vital for yourself to take care. It is important to eat right, exercise a healthy amount, and go to the doctors on a regular basis while getting the necessary tests.

National Cervical Cancer Screening Month

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January is National Cervical Cancer Screening Month! Cancer-fighting organizations stress the importance of screenings for Cervical Cancer during this time.

Here are a few facts about Cervical Cancer to raise awareness:

  • Cervical Cancer is the second most common type of cancer found in women.
  • Cervical Cancer is one of the most treatable cancers.
  • About 12,000 women will be diagnosed with Cervical Cancer per year.
  • About half of the patients are between the ages of 35 and 55.
  • Cervical Cancer can be diagnosed through the Papanicolaou (Pap) test.
  • Doctors suggest getting the first Pap test at the age of 21 and the last one at the age of 70 with about three year intervals.
  • Cervical Cancer be treated through surgery, radiation therapy, and chemotherapy.

Always share these facts about Cervical Cancer to spread awareness and stop the battle against cancer. Sharing this post could save someone’s life! You would be saving a whole circle of family and friends from a roller coaster of emotions.

National Lung & Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month

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November is National Lung Cancer Awareness Month and National Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month! During November, cancer organizations put on events to help fight these diseases and raise funds for research.

Here are a few facts about Lung Cancer to raise awareness:

  • When it comes to cancer deaths, Lung Cancer takes the lead.
  • More men than women are diagnosed with Lung Cancer every year.
  • Active smoking is responsible for 90% of Lung Cancer patients.
  • If one is exposed to second hand smoke on a daily basis, their risk for Lung Cancer increases from anywhere between 20-30%.
  • Those who work with cancer causing agents, such as asbestos, arsenic, and radon, are also at a higher risk of being diagnosed with Lung Cancer.
  • Lung Cancer is often diagnosed through a lung biopsy, sputum cytology, bronchoscopy, mediastinoscopy, thoracentesis, CT scan, or PET scan.
  • Like most cancers, Lung Cancer can be treated though surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation.

Here are a few facts about Pancreatic Cancer to raise awareness:

  • Unfortunately, Pancreatic Cancer has a low survival rate compared to other types of cancer.
  • Family history of this disease, smoking on a regular basis, consuming alcohol on a regular basis, having a poor diet and having diabetes are major risk factors for this deadly disease.
  • Pancreatic Cancer is usually diagnosed through a physical exam, biopsy, ultrasound, MRI, or an X-Ray.
  • Pancreatic Cancer can be treated through surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, immunotherapy, and gastroenterology.

Share these facts about Lung & Pancreatic Cancer with your friends and family to spread awareness and to help prevent these diseases. These types of cancer are extremely deadly, painful, and scary. It is so important that everyone is well-informed about the major facts. Always remember to support all types of cancer throughout the whole year! We are all in this fight together.

Looking at Before and After Pictures

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One of the hardest things while coping with this awful sickness is looking back at pictures from the time your parent did not have cancer and immediately noticing the changes that the disease has brought on. It’s hard seeing that transition of your own parent from a healthy and active person to a cancer-stricken patient.

When I look at recent pictures of my dad, I see the cancer in him. I see the wrinkles that came in the last two years; I see the defined cheek bones and sunken-in eyes due to the weight loss; I see the peeling hands and feet from the chemotherapy; I see the cancer. To protect myself from more pain, I try not to look at those.

It’s especially hard because if you lost your parent (or loved one) to cancer, your most recent and vivid memories are petrifying. You remember the weakness, the throwing up, the change of temper, and all the other chemotherapy affects.  As difficult as it is, it is so important to remember your loved one in a healthy form. It’s going to be a struggle rewinding to a couple years ago, but it will be a healthier way of grieving (or dealing with this new change in your life). Always remember that cancer doesn’t define a person. Stay positive and spread smiles!

Coping Strategy #7

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Therapy!

Having a sick parent is tough. It’s also frustrating, sad, chaotic at times, depressing, scary and much more. It’s hard to cope with all of those feelings, while living a life. It’s also a challenge to keep those feelings separate from your school and social life.

I highly suggest talking to someone. It’s too unhealthy to keep all those negative feelings bottled up. Therapy is a great option to let it all out. Saying your feelings outloud to a specialist will help you feel better and more secure. I’m also sure that your parent’s oncologist knows of programs you can join or someone to talk to. You could also talk to your school counselor or any teacher. For that matter, you could talk to any adult that is willing to just listen! Talk to your friends if you don’t feel comfortable talking to an adult. Just talk to someone! You will feel better afterwards.

If your parent is in the hospital or under Hospice Care, they will have social workers for you! If they haven’t already reached out to you, give them a call and see what they can offer to you. Some insurances also cover a few free therapy sessions, so check that out as well.

Therapy can be time-consuming and challenging at times, but the outcome is worth it. Remember to do your research about the therapists near you if you plan on seeking that help! Stay positive!

National Breast Cancer Awareness Month

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It’s October which means it is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month! National Breast Cancer Awareness Month (NBCAM) was created in 1985 to not just raise funds for Breast Cancer research and those fighting it, but to spread awareness. Now, every October cancer organizations put on major events to raise money and spread awareness for this disease.

A few facts about Breast Cancer to raise awareness:

  • Cancer can potentially spread through tissue, blood, and the lymph system. Therefore, it is important to get a PET scan, CT scan, MRI, Ultrasound, or Lymph biopsy if a Mammogram shows a tumor.
  • For those who don’t know what a Mammogram is, it’s an X-Ray of the breast. Although it may have slight radiation, the importance of this screening outweighs the extremely minor effect.
  • Women of 40 years or older should start getting a Mammogram about once every 1-2 years. However, Breast Cancer can be genetic. If you are aware of any family history regarding this disease, health care providers strongly recommend getting the screening done before age 40.
  • Breast Cancer occurs in 1 in every 3,000 women who give birth, mostly in the ages between 32 and 38 years.
  • About 1% of Breast Cancer victims are males and usually between 60-70 years old. Males (like females) can be diagnosed with Breast Cancer at any age. Biopsies, Ultrasounds, MRIs, physical exams, and blood tests are usually the way males test for Breast Cancer.
  • Common treatments include: Surgery, Chemotherapy, Radiation Therapy, Hormone Therapy, and Target Therapy.

I think it is so important to be well educated on not just cancer, but all diseases. I hope this helps you in some way or form. Remember to stay positive and not just support Breast Cancer this month, but all types of cancer throughout the year!

The Pros

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When you first find out that you have a sick parent or relative at such a young age, your first thoughts are probably not the best. You might be scared your parent’s life will be coming to an early end. You might be mad at doctors for the diagnosis and even your parent for getting sick. You might feel lonely because most people don’t understand what you are going through and the extent of your pain.

One day you will start looking at the bright side of things. Here are just a few things I discovered when my dad was fighting cancer:

  • I started understanding what sick people are actually going through. Minor or major illness, my respect for cancer patients is extremely high.
  • When I was 16 years old, often times I had to act and think like a 36 year old. I matured to a degree that some adults are not even at yet.
  • My family and family friends really came together at tough times. It’s sad that the time I saw my family most was during a hard time, but I am so thankful for the support. Now, I know I can go to my family or family friends for anything.

One day you will come across some of these realizations, and maybe even more. Try to look at the bright side of every situation and spread the positivity among your family and friends.

Cancer Does Not Mean Death

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Throughout my blog, I have mentioned the death of my father. However, I would like to make it very clear to my readers that cancer does not mean death. Cancer survival rates depend on many things such as the diagnosis, prognosis, treatment, and so much more. I strongly believe cancer survival rates shoot up with positivity, hope, and faith within the whole circle of family and close friends. I also believe the reason my dad did so incredibly well during his first year and a half of chemotherapies was because of the positivity not only that he had, but every single one of our close friends and family members had.

When my dad was diagnosed with cancer, death crossed my mind multiple times. It’s like you’re always living in fear. It’s also completely normal to have these thoughts. You always think that you’ll come home from school one day and your parents will sit you down and tell you that the treatments aren’t working as well as they should be. I always tried not to think about it and stay in high spirits through the thick and thin. If it started creeping through my head, I would start thinking about how my dad was such an amazing person and an amazing person like that doesn’t deserve death at a young age. But then again, no one deserves death at any age.

Try not to think about the future so much. Focus on the present. Do everything you can to help your parent get through this. Even if it’s the smallest deed, like just sitting there with them during a chemotherapy session while they fall asleep would help them immensely. Being happy around a sick person helps an infinite amount, trust me.

Sometimes we have to put ourselves in our parent’s shoes. Of course my dad never wanted to see me cry. He never wanted me to think that his cancer was stopping my life. He hid his pain from his loved ones around him, especially myself, my mom, and my sister. He didn’t want to be a burden. No sick person does. So, be elated around them. It’s truly a win-win situation and it will help their prognosis. Fight the cancer with your parents and spread the positivity within your circle- don’t let death be associated with your cancer story.

Kids who Have a Parent with Cancer

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As a parent, one of the hardest things to do is tell your kids you have cancer. No parent would ever anticipate this coming…who would think about something so scary in their spare time; “Hey. if I get cancer one day, how would I tell my beloved kids?” A parent can’t wait too long to tell their kids something is wrong, no matter what age, kids pick up on things like this quickly.

I vividly remember the day my dad told me he had cancer. It was May 22, 2011. I thought it was going to be a regular day with Sunday brunch, study sessions, and movies with my family but then one word changed my whole life: cancer. Feelings of fear and uncertainty began to overshadow my dreams and aspirations in my academic and personal life. I then had so many thoughts and questions running through my mind.

Who’s my dad’s doctor? Is he a good doctor? Where did he go to school? Is the doctor even a ‘he’? What stage is the cancer? Where exactly is it? Am I going to be able live my life normally? Is my academic life going to be jeopardized? When does the chemotherapy start?

and the scariest of them all

Am I going to be okay? Are my mom and sister going to be okay? Is my own father [the man who taught me how to talk, walk, swim, bike, tie a shoelace, play guitar, solve physics and calculus problems; the man who taught me the meaning of life], going to be okay?

At times, we forget that the “C word” is hard for everybody in the family- not just the patient, not just the spouse, not just the older sibling, not just the younger sibling, but every single person. No matter what kind of cancer or what stage the cancer has progressed to, it is one of the scariest diseases for all countries across the globe.

As a kid, one of the hardest things to do is hear that your parent has cancer and you cannot do a single thing about it. At least in my case as a high school student I couldn’t cure my dad, no matter how many things I tried. I felt so helpless. However, as much as I could have done, I did with no doubt in my mind. Everything from finding healthy diets to learning how to use an oxygen tank required 200% of my energy and every inch of hope I had.