Loving with a Broken Heart

After losing a parent (or anyone special to your heart) they take a piece of your heart to heaven. My first heartbreak was my dad. Going through such heavy grief, you can feel your heart physically break. With such adversity, it becomes extremely difficult to continuously open your heart. Your wounds get deeper with each opening. Over the years of coping with my father’s death, I have realized that my grief would (and still does) overflow into other aspects of my life. Time after time, the aspect would be my love life. It is so important to love yourself, be vulnerable, be honest, and know your worth when you are ready to open your heart romantically after such grief.

Love Yourself

Love yourself so, so, so hard. Tell yourself everyday that you are beautiful, strong, and worth of love because you are. This is the most important! Self love and care isn’t always glamorous with face masks, baths, and candles. Self care is also being super honest with yourself and digging into your emotions to make yourself the best version of yourself. Dig into yourself and love yourself!

Be Vulnerable

I am a firm believer that vulnerability is strength. That is why I even started this blog. When it comes to your love life, it is natural to feel more closed off. You have already gone through so much pain and I understand it’s harder to open your heart again. And if it doesn’t work out, I promise your heart will be okay. You have already gone through some of the worst and most traumatic emotional pain. Being vulnerable is also being hopeful and allowing your heart to love deeply and fully.

Be Honest

Not only is it important to be honest with your partner about your struggles, but be honest with yourself. Grief is an everlasting journey that continues to flow with life. Healing yourself and being honest about your healing is so important. Healing is also a journey, so be patient with yourself and compassionate towards yourself. Have faith that you are doing your best. Be honest with your feelings with yourself and your partner. It might be something as simple as letting your partner know you would appreciate extra support on your parent’s birthday, death anniversary, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, etc. — or maybe it means planning a few distractions together. Whatever it might be, be honest and be communicative about your needs.

Know Your Worth

Know that you are whole, loved, appreciated, and independent with or without a partner. I still have yet to come to a conclusion on why I felt so worthless after I lost my dad, but I did. I struggled a lot with my self worth during the initial years of my grief. It took me many personal, professional, and romantic hardships to realize my worth. For me, it took so much work but it is vital and I am so thankful for each hardship and the lessons I learned along the way.

The most important relationship is the relationship with yourself. Through everlasting grief, the relationship with ourselves almost becomes one of the hardest. Love yourself, be vulnerable, be honest, and know your worth. Follow happiness and count your blessings.

Another Year…Another Birthday

Dear Dad,

Happy birthday! Today is one of my favorite days of the years because I get to celebrate you and cherish how amazing you were, as well as all of the special memories I have. I miss you each day and I miss you as much as when you initially left our lives…but I have learned how to cope with you being gone. I have learned how to accept this new life without you. I sometimes feel your presence and when I do, it’s the best feeling. I know you are looking down on me and guiding me through life. I never thought I would still learn so many lessons from you years after you left. You somehow continue to teach me and remind me of the importance of having empathy, showing kindness always, being incredibly generous, and living a happy and fulfilled life. Through the years, there have been days I was just trying to survive. The thought of your strength, energy, and love for life paired with the many lessons you taught me are what got me through the toughest days — and continue to.

Thank you so much for always being my guardian angel and shining light through and through. I love you so much and miss you even more. Thank you for everything; cheers to you and your beautiful soul.

With Loads of Love,

Your Lulu