After losing a parent (or anyone special to your heart) they take a piece of your heart to heaven. My first heartbreak was my dad. Going through such heavy grief, you can feel your heart physically break. With such adversity, it becomes extremely difficult to continuously open your heart. Your wounds get deeper with each opening. Over the years of coping with my father’s death, I have realized that my grief would (and still does) overflow into other aspects of my life. Time after time, the aspect would be my love life. It is so important to love yourself, be vulnerable, be honest, and know your worth when you are ready to open your heart romantically after such grief.
Love yourself so, so, so hard. Tell yourself everyday that you are beautiful, strong, and worth of love because you are. This is the most important! Self love and care isn’t always glamorous with face masks, baths, and candles. Self care is also being super honest with yourself and digging into your emotions to make yourself the best version of yourself. Dig into yourself and love yourself!
I am a firm believer that vulnerability is strength. That is why I even started this blog. When it comes to your love life, it is natural to feel more closed off. You have already gone through so much pain and I understand it’s harder to open your heart again. And if it doesn’t work out, I promise your heart will be okay. You have already gone through some of the worst and most traumatic emotional pain. Being vulnerable is also being hopeful and allowing your heart to love deeply and fully.
Not only is it important to be honest with your partner about your struggles, but be honest with yourself. Grief is an everlasting journey that continues to flow with life. Healing yourself and being honest about your healing is so important. Healing is also a journey, so be patient with yourself and compassionate towards yourself. Have faith that you are doing your best. Be honest with your feelings with yourself and your partner. It might be something as simple as letting your partner know you would appreciate extra support on your parent’s birthday, death anniversary, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, etc. — or maybe it means planning a few distractions together. Whatever it might be, be honest and be communicative about your needs.
Know Your Worth
Know that you are whole, loved, appreciated, and independent with or without a partner. I still have yet to come to a conclusion on why I felt so worthless after I lost my dad, but I did. I struggled a lot with my self worth during the initial years of my grief. It took me many personal, professional, and romantic hardships to realize my worth. For me, it took so much work but it is vital and I am so thankful for each hardship and the lessons I learned along the way.
The most important relationship is the relationship with yourself. Through everlasting grief, the relationship with ourselves almost becomes one of the hardest. Love yourself, be vulnerable, be honest, and know your worth. Follow happiness and count your blessings.